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8. How are you pursuing your dreams right now? I seem to be fresh out of dreams at the moment.
9. What’s the next big step you need to take? Packing up everything in my house (either to take with me or to discard) and moving to Connecticut.
Review copy provided by the publisher.
This is the first book in a duology, and it's the kind of duology that's really one book split into two volumes. The end of this book is merely the stopping point of this book, not in any way an ending. If that bothers you, wait around until the other half is out.
Honestly I can't tell you why I didn't love this book. I wanted to love this book. It's a secondary world fantasy where one of the central relationships of the book is an aunt and nephew, and that kind of non-standard central relationship is absolutely up my alley. It's a fantasy world where magical environmental contamination is a major threat, which is also of great interest to me. Sensitive yet matter-of-fact handling of trans characters, check. Worldbuilding that deviates from standard, check. And there wasn't anything that made me roll my eyes or say ugh! It was just fine! But for me, at least, it was just fine. Honestly if this is your sort of thing I kind of wish you'd read it and tell me what you think might have been going on here, or if it's just...that some books and some people are ships passing in the night.
This morning I went through another couple of shelves of books deciding what to keep and what to dispose of. I haven't moved anything off those shelves yet, but I have decided what to do with the books.
The weather is very undecided today; it started out cloudy and misty and has been alternately sunny and cloudy ever since. While I was running early this morning, at one point the mist was heavy enough to leave droplets on my glasses lenses, but that was only for a short time.
Last night, yet again, I had trouble falling asleep, so I got up and read for a while. This is getting old.
Last week was the one where there was PANIC over whether I would have new supply of prescription drug; credit card issues including FRAUD; and also bizarre phonecall from the musculo-skeletal people about scheduling an appointment which suggested they hadn't looked at my record or are very very confused about what my next session is actually for.
HOWEVER
Though I began writing a review on Wednesday, did a paragraph, and felt totally blank about where it was going from there, I returned to it the following day and lo and behold wrote enough to be considered an actual review, though have been tinkering and polishing since then. But is essentially DONE.
And in the realm of reviewing have received 3 books for essay review, have another one published this month coming sometime, and today heard that my offer to review for Yet Another Venue has been accepted, where can they send the book?
While in other not quite past it news, for many years I was heavily involved in a rather niche archival survey, which is no longer being hosted in its previous useful if rather outdated form but as a spreadsheet (I would say no use to man nor beast but it does have some value I suppose). But there is talk of reviving and updating it (yay) and I have been invited to a meeting to discuss this. Fortunately I can attend virtually rather than at ungodly hour of morning in distant reaches of West London.
Also professional org of which I am A (jolly good?) Fellow is doing a survey and has invited me to attend a virtual Focus Group.
Oh yes, and it looks as though a nerdy letter about Rebecca West I wrote to the Literary Review is likely to get published.
Anyway... that shit apparently is in my DNA. I have two nephews. One is getting married and I zelled him money for a wedding present this weekend and then thought that was not really fair to his brother who just bought a new house and got no house warming present. So this morning I zelled him. Except. It didn't work. No reason given. Just didn't work. Zelle said he has a valid account but just no send. I checked the limits and I was well within. I have money in my account. I tried sending $5. nope. I finally got him engaged. He sent a QR code which linked to his account successfully but still didn't send the money. Fuckme. The wedding money zelled perfectly the first time. Wild.
So... finally... I called the credit union which is usually a major PIA only this time wasn't too horrible. I explained the issue and was transferred to a guy who knew his shit. He said he could see the attempts and could see that all was fine. "basically, you just hit a zelle glitch". He waved his magic wand And, after a few more log ins and log outs, it worked, he said but I couldn't see it and would not let him go until I did. He was very kind and patient and finally I could see it and so could my nephew. So all's well that ends well.
But a very exhausting way to start the week!
The Annual Window Washing starts next Monday. Right now there are three window washers down in the plaza looking up at our dirty windows. It's quite the endeavor, this window washing. Apparently they have tried it via rappelling from the roof a few times and that was not as good as going from apartment to apartment. This latter is how they do it now. They open the windows and remove the screens and then hang out that open one to clean the others. Move to the next apartment. It takes about 3 or 4 weeks to do them all. The most painful part is listening to everyone conjure on how they are doing it wrong. As a group, old people know best. And those with no real knowledge of the situation, know best of all.
But, it will be fun to have clean windows again.
And it is beyond marvelous not to have a single piece of skin in the operation.
We broke heat records yesterday and probably will again today. I have no reason to go outside and so don't intend to. All is lovely and cool in here.
One of the few reservations I had about moving here was the homogeneity of the whole situation. This is a really white community. We have some residents who are of Asian decent but mostly it's all European white. The community is green. Nearly perfectly green year round. Beautiful trees and plants - so many that it's hard to see the shops. The zoning around here is iron fisted. It's very very pretty everywhere. No road cracks. No butt cracks. No tents. Hardly a soda can on the side of the road. Very Stepford in many ways.
It's actually pretty much the antithesis of downtown Seattle. In all the good ways and all the bad ways. Interesting thoughts.
I had ordered, from Amazon, two storage bins to set on the washer and catch the extra stuff. Then, yesterday, I went out to do my returns and, on a whim, popped into to Target and found an even better solution for cheaper. So for the second time recently, I stood in a retail store and canceled an Amazon order and made brick and mortar purchase. Now, that's something I never did in Seattle.
I have now spent a whole lot of time in the tiny room that is my utility room but I think it's finally hit max functionality. I have new hooks and mounted the hand vac, and fixed the tools situation and moved this and tossed that. This apartment is such an easy place to live. Everything is somewhere and I know where that where is. I can get to it and reach it and find it and put it back with ease. It is less than half the size of the condo but feels so much bigger.
This week's bread: a loaf of Dove's Farm Organic Seedhouse Bread Flour, v nice.
Friday night supper: penne with a sauce of sauce of Peppadew roasted red peppers in brine drained, whizzed in blender and gently heated while pasta cooking.
Saturday breakfast rolls: basic buttermilk (as buttermilk reaching its bb date), 3:1 strong white/rye flour, turned out nicely.
Today's lunch: panfried seabass fillets in samphire sauce, served with cauliflower florets roasted in pumpkin seed oil with cumin seeds, padron peppers (as we have noted on previous occasions, these had not been picked as young and tender as they might be), and sticky rice with lime leaves.
This morning I've done a very small amount of sorting books. I think I'm going to try to do just one shelf per day, as it's very taxing (mentally and emotionally more than physically). It's hard because I hate to have to throw away books but I'm sure nobody will want most of them. There are probably twelve shelves, so I hope to be done in a couple of weeks. I expect that dealing with the books will be the worst part of clearing out/packing up the house; I hope that will be the case anyway.
I had a piece of good news from my middle daughter this morning: her job at the State Library in Perth (Western Australia), which until now has been on a contract basis, has now been made permanent.
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I was thinking as I was watching it live on MAX (I no longer have access to CNN), that evil is like a spider, sitting in the dark corner of the room, smoking a cigar, wih a red top hat and tails smirking. And asking in a whisper of a voice, low and barely audible, "what do you want?" And indicating with a smile - "come into my parlor my dear and I shall give it to you, with a price of course".
It's insidious, and shadows egos. Self-importance. Self-righteousness. Power. Fame. Fortune. Wealth. Beware the righteous, and the self-important, and most of all the arrogant and narcissistic hunting awards and acknowledgment and power.
I don't know what I personally can do to check the power or stop it. I've been pondering it. I can write, I can post, I can draw, I can paint, I can do my job at a public agency. And I can hope people listen.
People aren't very good at listening? Have you noticed that? Too busy thinking about themselves or what they are going to say next or how they'll respond. Too filled up with thoughts to hear...ones that lie outside of their own minds and brains. I tell people a story and they tell me their own back again, and mine....slides off unheard, lost somehow within theirs? The meaning gone. And they tell me theirs and I tell them my own, and it happens all over again from the other side - with their story being lost.
I did social group therapy once - and we were for the most part forced to listen, but everyone tended to flounder at it. Either they'd ask pointed questions, correct the person's choice of words or syntax or speech (which isn't listening by the way - it's judging, and helps no one), interrupt, direct the conversation to themselves, provide advice, try to fix whatever it was, dismiss it as already solved or playing the victim, but seldom did they listen.
And once on a fan discussion board - we fell into a discussion about writing carefully, and I thought - no that's not the problem here or not that alone, we also need to learn how to read carefully. And people don't? Too busy reading quickly, flying through or past the text, to see it clearly let alone truly comprehend it? Now, for example, raise your hand if you just skimmed this passage and oh so many others? Be honest? How many have you skimmed, jumping over words and phrases and reacting to a sentence here or a paragraph there - but not seeing the whole? I know I do. Try a little experiment, if you will? Read just one paragraph of a post, or the unhidden bit. Then take a moment, and read the rest later, has your opinion of it changed?
We live in an age of content overload, and we surf and read and look at so many things simultaneously. Texts fly by. Our memory of them fleeting or garbled. And more often than not - people just read blurbs. If I post something with information below a "cut tag" - how many will read what's below the tag, and just respond to the top of the post? Losing the point of it. Or respond to the post, without reading the comments below? We don't read carefully - and most mistakes are made because of it. They were on the discussion boards. 90% of the arguments online are the result of "miscommunication" or the inability to politely ask for clarification prior to snarking, judging or condemning.
I think the flaw in the human brain is a tendency to assume everyone thinks the same and perceives things the same? When no one does? And well...a failure to communicate as a result?
**
You'll have to excuse me, I'm exhausted. But the weather is shifting, and I'm hurting less all of a sudden - which means the arthritis isn't being pinged by the human weather vane.
I'm also frustrated with my fellow humans. And perhaps with myself and my own limitations. And a touch depressed, no more than a touch, as a result. But hey at least I don't hurt as much as last night. So maybe the back brace is helping?
It's a warm spring evening. The sky has cleared of clouds, and it's sliding towards dark, from twilight. Nine PM on the East Coast. But I can still see puffs of cloud moving slowly across the pale blue sky, lit from within by moonlight. Our swiftly turning planet in the vacuum of space, surrounded by stars and galaxies which far too many of us take for granted as we bumble upon it babbling and gurgling at one another as is our way.

But, we had a good time and a nice crowd and it was fine and fun.
Elbow coffee was its normal nothing but harmless today. Also a good crowd. It's really a nothing gathering but also a painless way to touch base with neighbors and make sure everyone is fine. Without Myrna, we really don't even see each other much any other time.
I'm still working on my utility room. I have one more item coming from Amazon (Monday) which will take care of the final issue. But it does look much nicer now and is easier to find shit.
I got the invitation to my nephew's wedding today. The wedding is in the middle of October. This is June. Clearly wedding rules have changed. At least I don't have to go. And, according to their website, one of their top two most wanted gift requests is money. Whew. That takes a load off. Also their wedding website let me RSVP so I don't even have to hunt down a stamp and mail this little card back. I like these new wedding rules. In my day...
Last night they had fried chicken on the buffet and I loaded up. So now I have fried chicken for lunch. Yum. Then baseball. My perfect afternoon.
I also browsed quickly through the farmers market which was just opening outside the post office. I did not buy anything healthy; instead I bought a small lemon meringue pie. It was a toss-up between that and a chocolate whoopie pie.
(She says fangirl - but I just took Gender Identity Training (web module) this week and it kind of goes against the grain to use gender exclusive as opposed to gender inclusive language at the moment.)
Also, the Good News Report...
As always, good news is often in the eye of the beholder, but hopefully something makes you smile, outside of the link to the fan questions. Which I may or may not try to answer at a later date. I'm weirdly private about my fandoms.
1.Breakthrough in search for HIV cure leaves researchers ‘overwhelmed’
Exclusive: Melbourne team demonstrates way to make the virus visible within white blood cells, paving the way to fully clear it from the body.
Via the Guardian
"Exclusive: Melbourne team demonstrates way to make the virus visible within white blood cells, paving the way to fully clear it from the body."
2. Newark Mayor Ras Baraka sues Alina Habba, alleging ‘false arrest and malicious prosecution’. Alina Habba's criminal case against Ras Baraka collapsed quickly. Now, the tables have turned, and the Newark mayor is suing the prosecutor.
Via Democracy Docket
3.Judge says some migrants sent to an El Salvador prison must have a chance to challenge their detention. A federal judge ordered the Trump administration to provide hundreds of migrants sent to CECOT, a maximum-security prison in El Salvador, the opportunity to challenge their detention and removal. The ruling is related to deportations ordered under the Alien Enemies Act.
Via NBC News
This doesn't apply to Kilmar Abrego Garcia, the Salvadoran man whose deportation became a focal point of Democratic resistance to Trump's immigration policies.
4. The Trump regime has returned a Guatemalan man who was improperly deported to Mexico, obeying a federal judge’s order.
Via Politico
5. More than a century after the Tulsa Race Massacre of 1921, one of the most horrific episodes of racial violence in U.S. history, the city’s mayor announced a $105 million reparations package on Sunday. It is the first large-scale plan committing funds to address the impact of the atrocity. Tulsa Mayor Monroe Nichols on Sunday unveiled a $105 million reparations plan for the descendants of the Tulsa race massacre — the deadly 1921 attack by a white mob on a Black neighborhood.
ABC News
Via NY Times
( the rest )

Actually, I can't find that the article by Molly-Jong Fast in today's Guardian Saturday is currently online, alas - clearly she had a sad and distressing childhood, even if I was tempted, and probably not the only one to be so tempted, to murmur, apologies to P Larkin, 'they zipless fuck you up...', the abrupt dismissal of her nanny, her only secure attachment figure, when Erica J suddenly remarried (again) was particularly harsh, I thought. No wonder she had problems.
And really, even if she does make a point of how relatively privileged she was, that doesn't actually ameliorate how badly she was treated.
Only the other day there was an obituary of the psychoanalyst Joy Schaverien, who wrote Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the “Privileged” Child.
***
Another rather traumatic parenting story, though this is down to the hospitals: BBC News is now aware of five cases of babies swapped by mistake in maternity wards from the late 1940s to the 1960s. Lawyers say they expect more people to come forward driven by the increase in cheap genetic testing.:
[V]ery gradually, more babies were delivered in hospital, where newborns were typically removed for periods to be cared for in nurseries.
"The baby would be taken away between feeds so that the mother could rest, and the baby could be watched by either a nursery nurse or midwife," says Terri Coates, a retired lecturer in midwifery, and former clinical adviser on BBC series Call The Midwife.
"It may sound paternalistic, but midwives believed they were looking after mums and babies incredibly well."
It was common for new mothers to be kept in hospital for between five and seven days, far longer than today.
To identify newborns in the nursery, a card would be tied to the end of the cot with the baby's name, mother's name, the date and time of birth, and the baby's weight.
"Where cots rather than babies were labelled, accidents could easily happen"
Plus, this was the era of the baby boom, one imagines maternity wards may have been a bit swamped....
***
A different sort of misattribution: The furniture fraud who hoodwinked the Palace of Versailles:
[T]his assortment of royal chairs would become embroiled in a national scandal that would rock the French antiques world, bringing the trade into disrepute.
The reason? The chairs were in fact all fakes.
The scandal saw one of France's leading antiques experts, Georges "Bill" Pallot, and award-winning cabinetmaker, Bruno Desnoues, put on trial on charges of fraud and money laundering following a nine-year investigation.
....
Speaking in court in March, Mr Pallot said the scheme started as a "joke" with Mr Desnoues in 2007 to see if they could replicate an armchair they were already working on restoring, that once belonged to Madame du Barry.
Masters of their crafts, they managed the feat, convincing other experts that it was a chair from the period.
***
I am really given a little hope for an anti-Mybug tendency among the masculine persuasion: A Man writes in 'the issue is not whether men are being published, but whether they are reading – and being supported to develop emotional lives that fiction can help foster'
While Geoff Dyer in The Books of [His] Life goes in hard with Beatrix Potter as early memory, Elizabeth Taylor as late-life discovery, and Rosamond Lehmann's The Weather in the Streets as
One of those perennially bubbling-under modern classics – too good for the Championship, unable to sustain a place in the Premier league – which turns out to be way better than some of the canonical stalwarts permanently installed in the top flight.
Okay, I mark him down a bit for the macho ' I don’t go to books for comfort', but still, not bad for a bloke, eh.