White nights

[mamculuna]

Sleep seems to be a thing of the past. I'm trying to move out of my office, get ready to move to Chicago for the summer leaving the house to a sitter, and go to Europe, with no breaks. So all I'm doing is packing up boxes in one place and unpacking them in another, adding things to the to-do list faster than I cross them off, and getting so bothered by it all that I can't do anything. I'll lie down to read and my eyes feel so tired I turn off the light. Five minutes later I'm wide awake and stressing about all the stuff that won't get done. For the last week I've slept mainly either 1-3 or 6-8 in the morning, with lots of tossing, turning, reading, late night TV, and computer time instead of what I need to be doing, which is sleeping.

It's not right! I can see now that I really needed to plan in some down time, but have to be in Italy for a wedding, have to take the house sitter when he can come, have to take the week at the beach when the house is free.

I'm beginning to lose it, too. My husband got someone to do some yard work and had them cut down some big beautiful lagustrums (lagustra, I guess) that had been growing for years. I really got mad, which was pointless. They'll grow back at the same rate no matter what, and he was trying to help. I think I'm just a bit over the top with stress.

Also am not doing yoga or any other exercise because of some kind of tendinitis or something in my ankle, which needs to get well before I'm being a tourist for two weeks and a car-less city dweller for two months. That may explain some of my current state.

And I too cannot believe I'm being this horrible when everything that's going to happen is good, right? Except that right now I wish I could just spend the summer here and work in my garden and paint my house and write on my nice computer...but that will come. I'm really lucky to be able to do all these nice things with people I love. I just need to convince my stress level to go away.