mamculuna: (Default)
( Mar. 20th, 2005 11:22 pm)
Tonight was really lovely. I have a group of women friends who've been meeting as a group regularly for at least 20 years, and also individually, and some of us much earlier than that. Tonight they were at my house for supper. We've seen each other through deaths and births, marriages and divorces. Right now is a good time--peoples' children are having weddings, babies, jobs, whatever. All of us I think feel a sense of the job being done, in a way, and ourselves set free. I'm the only one who has retired, but neither the oldest nor the youngest (ages span at least 20 years).

Tonight the conversation turned to abortion (which several of use have had, though not me--but I've had a miscarriage, which is similar and different in big ways) and how the world will change if Roe v Wade is overturned. Some of us were "footsoldiers in the sexual revolution" but others were married as virgins. Some had had abortions, others not. One remembered her Catholic mother telling her she could not come home pregnant, and I remember my mother's kindness to a possibly pregnant 15-year old me (she handled it better than I would now, and think of her generation).

Food was wonderful, and flowers--white camellias, yellow forsythia, the last daffodils in vases. Good wine, good times. Friends are the icing on the cake of life.

AND they liked my pink wall:


room
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mamculuna: (Default)
( Mar. 11th, 2005 10:36 pm)
A very nice week at the beach, in most ways. The weather was sunny, crystal clear some days, and the water was green, transparent, like a picture of an ocean. I saw eagles swooping low over the water.

But not the best. My sister can suddenly morph into my mother when it comes to keeping up appearances and is hell bent on remodeling I could live without, but I really want to keep things harmonious and find myself doing things for her that I don't really want to do--but cutting back four huge pampas grasses was not one of them, so I paid the guy who does our lawn to do them. If you've ever done that little chore, you'll know that you wind up looking like you've been in a saber duel, with long slashes of grass cuts that turn red and ugly, burning and itching. I spend my bad time dealing with contractors and estimators, and that was itchy enough for one week.

My friend who came down to visit is getting through colon cancer chemo and surgery, and possible spread to her liver, and onset of chemo induced diabetes (and retirement and divorce, and a cat that died last month, and an only daughter who's moving across country). Amazingly, she's still gorgeous and funny and great company. I felt that I should somehow do more for her, and at the same time should let her be as strong as she can be. The only sad moment was when she talked about getting a little dog, but worried that she'd die and leave it alone. I told her that a dog from a shelter would still have a longer and better life with her than if she left it there, but it hurt to hear her say that.

We built a nice fire and watched movies: Vanity Fair and I Heart Huckabees. Reese was an okay Becky Sharpe, but I really loved the commentary on Huckabees.
Sometimes there's a person who isn't always center stage, but when you look, you know you've seen something. That's [livejournal.com profile] midnightsjane

Jane's posts always make me feel good, and often they make me think. She lives the life we'd all wish for--a real and serious job that's not bureaucratic boredom, a passion for animals (one in particular!), a sweet sense of humor, curiosity, and unselfconscious compassion.

Jane's world--I'm glad I've seen it.
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mamculuna: (Default)
( Jan. 1st, 2005 11:12 am)
To all the friends on my LJ
Here’s a toast on New Year’s Day!
Happy greetings to [livejournal.com profile] cactuswatcher
[livejournal.com profile] midnightsjane, [livejournal.com profile] an_old_one, gotcha!
You make my day—er, make that night.
Good fortune smile on [livejournal.com profile] ann1962, be bright
For [livejournal.com profile] oyeceter, [livejournal.com profile] oursin, and [livejournal.com profile] randomways;
Bring special joy to [livejournal.com profile] habibti’s days.
To [livejournal.com profile] bradrasvapanaand [livejournal.com profile] deevalish, no blues,
And a great sunrise to [livejournal.com profile] redredshoes,
Also [livejournal.com profile] honorh, [livejournal.com profile] joxn,and [livejournal.com profile] selenak.
May [livejournal.com profile] hfx_ben nothing lack,
For [livejournal.com profile] rachelmanija, [livejournal.com profile] green_lizzard, and [livejournal.com profile] cjlasky
Hope the year brings nothing pesky!
[livejournal.com profile] maeve_rigan and [livejournal.com profile] altaego
Let the sun bring you its glow!
And [livejournal.com profile] buffyannotater and [livejournal.com profile] lucesluna,
Be joyful, and [livejournal.com profile] wombatina
May you shine in hanumanasana
Just as long as [livejournal.com profile] rebekahroxanna
Brings us wisdom. And to [livejournal.com profile] dherblay
And [livejournal.com profile] londonkds the very best day.
The sun be kind to [livejournal.com profile] jupitah
To [livejournal.com profile] anomster, and to Rah!
(That’s [livejournal.com profile] rahael). For [livejournal.com profile] ladystarlightlj,
[livejournal.com profile] ponygirl2000, [livejournal.com profile] fresne, and [livejournal.com profile] jackiejj,
For [livejournal.com profile] deadsoul820 and [livejournal.com profile] dedalus7
And [livejournal.com profile] nobody_, a piece of heaven.
Love and joy to [livejournal.com profile] atpolittlebit
To [livejournal.com profile] shadowkat67 and [livejournal.com profile] hankat.
Thanks to LJ for [livejournal.com profile] barrygraham and [livejournal.com profile] ursulav;
[livejournal.com profile] kijjohnson, wish you plenty of
Those great words, and to [livejournal.com profile] anneth,
Warmer days, and peace to [livejournal.com profile] atpotch.
To [livejournal.com profile] __angela__, [livejournal.com profile] __skye__ and [livejournal.com profile] ladyhelix
May 2005 bring lots of kicks!
[livejournal.com profile] mademarian and [livejournal.com profile] lakrids404,
Hope you’ll need for nothing more.
[livejournal.com profile] jampalhakyi and [livejournal.com profile] arethusa2
And [livejournal.com profile] diony, the best to you.
[livejournal.com profile] knullabulla and [livejournal.com profile] theli_93
May you every day be free,
And happiness every single week
To [livejournal.com profile] haytanbello and [livejournal.com profile] gleefulfreak.
And most of all, joy to [livejournal.com profile] scrollgirl
Thanks for opening up LJ world,
ETA: my worse omission,
Cut and pasted with imprecision:
But best of all, [livejournal.com profile] masqthephlsphr
ATPO's own queen, the best for her!
Happy 2005, all on my flist!
[livejournal.com profile] mamculuna sends a kiss!
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mamculuna: (Default)
( Dec. 19th, 2004 09:44 pm)
I'm wandering the world in various hazes of fuzziness, due to trying out new prescription for contacts, which is NOT better than old ones. Yesterday I couldn't recognize a friend halfway down the block. Today I put my old contacts back in. Nevertheless, I'm having a good Christmas so far. I've bought most of my presents, and in the last couple of days, we:

Put lights on the outside tree and decorated the inside tree, with NO cross words!

Did a crossword, for that matter.

Went to see a friend who'd just had surgery, then stopped by a neighborhood party, tonight--nice to see some old faces and some new ones. I had a very good talk with a young woman from Cameroon about her realization that her culture had a lot to treasure and her longing to go back and help there. I had thought before that she was just into money and clothes--glad I saw her differently.

Made the site for my husband's book work, sort of.

Looked at all it's going to take to do the living and dining rooms: strip grasscloth, patch plaster, clean, sand, paint...pulled covers back over head

Walked to Dollar Tree and bought junk we didn't need--but it's only $1! How can we resist gold ribbon, baskets, lint roller, locarb bars, ornament hangers, sponges, spare reading glasses (blue plastic with pink dots--really), corned beef hash, and toothpaste?

Sold fireworks, but not many, to benefit the Dharma Center. We should run a Dollar Tree, instead.

Helped my writing buddy with her computer, and she gave me cilantro seeds.

Added a nice murder to first chapter of my first book and tried to think of new title.

Murder, fireworks, lint rollers, Cameroon. It's a good time of year.
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( Oct. 4th, 2004 10:34 am)
Sorry I've been absent from so many interesting discussions--I went to the beach for a week, most of it alone without a computer. Also without a hurricane! I haven't spent that much time alone in a long time--even when Bill's not here, I'm seeing friends, etc., and spending lots of time writing or online. I rediscovered how wonderful is time on your own.

I can remember a time, right after my first marriage broke up, when I was terrified to spend the night alone--every sound seemed like an imminent attack (of course in those days I slept in a first floor bedroom on a busy street and several times woke to find concrete blocks stacked under my window. Now I sleep on the second floor of secure houses in quieter neighborhoods). And I'd grown up with so many ghost stories at the beach, for a long time even the alarm system didn't help (trusting all you fantasy readers/viewers will understand that).

Now the nights alone mean drifting to sleep with the sounds of crashing waves and whip-poor-wills, and waking to the misty sunrise and the chatter of blackbirds and cardinals. Days alone mean reading all morning, going for long slow kayak rides, wandering the beach, going to art galleries, painting windows, writing backstory for the bad guy, and sitting on the dock with a glass of scotch, watching the tide come in and the sun go down.

Maybe someday I'd get lonely. Not yet. But for some reason I made plans so here I am, back again, and glad to see Bill, chapter five, and all of you.
mamculuna: (Default)
( Sep. 9th, 2004 09:28 pm)
Bill is home, having flown successfully through the hurricane remnants. And I'm happy, double happy.

My friend L's baby's name is Shuang Fei (see icon) means double wings or double flying. What a great name--but L wants to name her, and call her, after L's American family, which I understand. So now the big decision. I suspect Fei, wing or flying, is the part that will survive as a middle name--not one that is used much.

And I'm remembering again to let things go as they will, not to put in my vote for Fei as main name. So the reading for today--Llimitation--is clear again. To be a friend means honoring the boundaries your friend sets (or knowing where they are so she doesn't have to set them):

60 Chieh: Limitation

Kan, the abysmal, water
Tui, the joyous, lake.

A lake occupies a limited space. When more water comes into it, it overflows. Therefore limits must be set for the water. The image shows water below and water above, with the firmament between them as a limit.

The Chinese word for limitation really denotes the joints that divide a bamboo stalk. In relation to ordinary life it means the thrift that sets fixed limits on expenditures. In relation to the moral sphere it means the fixed limits that the superior man sets on his actions - the limits of loyalty and disinterestedness
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( Aug. 23rd, 2004 11:43 am)
Well, not much. Still not unpacked--that's not just all the stuff I took to Italy in June and Chicago for the rest of the summer, but also all the boxes of stuff I put away to give the sitter some shelf space.

more on my so-called life )
mamculuna: (Default)
( Apr. 10th, 2004 10:04 pm)
A morning Yoga class that focused on hip openers, which I can do! I know I need the ones I can't do more, but it's fun to succeed for a change.

My son calls and we have a great long chat about work, movies, houses, and traveling. He's grown to be such a great friend, and it's so nice sitting and talking while I nibble on the toast left from lunch.

A ride in the country, because I can't walk a lot right now, having some kind of foot/ankle tendonitis and want it to heal before I go to Italy for two weeks in June. I had this before when I used to run, years ago, and dropped back to walking. Ugh. But the ride was lovely. Just a few miles north and the wisteria is still fresh and purple, the dogwood and azaleas just opening. We start to visit one of Bill's friends and the new house is so ostentatious and hideous we turn back. Along the road are gentle cottages I'd love to live in, on the lake. At the filling station I see a former student, such a warm, happy person.

Home to a lovely evening. 85 degrees and cooling--my kind of weather. We grill on the deck and sit late into twilight, watching the candles burn down. The trees are full of leaves, the light is late. This is my time, my weather. The candlelight spills throught the spaces in the table, making diamond shapes on our legs and the floor. We talk about the Triplets of Belleville (we loved it), why Bill's friends went for glamor wives and he for me, what we'll do this summer in Chicago, what's wrong with Condoleeza Rice. The bats go in and the stars come out, and still it's warm.
x-posting to [livejournal.com profile] buddhists and [livejournal.com profile] tibetanbuddhism

Today is actually the very end of Losar, the Tibetan New Year's celebration. My little dharma group had a fund-raising dinner, for which our teacher, a geshe who lives in Charleston, and a Tibetan cook who works there in a restaurant, came to create the meal.

There were many beautiful things. )

And best of all, to share all that with a group who also feels this, all of it. Just like my joy in sharing things with all of you.
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